AIM with the Cullen Family and Friends
by OCDtwilighter
Summary: These are AIM conversations between all the wonderful Twilight characters and Lauren and Jake and Leah . Emmett shows us a new side of him in EVERY chapter! Possibly some lemons if I get enough reviews... Anyway, I suck at summaries, so just read it!
1. Truth or Dare sort of

**DISCLAIMER:** I , sadly, do not own the characters in this story, or most parts of the plot. I only the screennames, which...isn't that much. However, the characters belong exclusively to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer and, sadly, I am not her no matter how many times I sacrifice my ex-boyfriends to the book gods praying that I could be her. (Oops, shouldn't have mentioned that)

Now, this is my first Fanfic, and I hope you like it and think it's funny. R&R!!

Key:

Main Characters:

Edward: **masochisticlion1**

Bella: **klutzygirrl56**

Alice: **shopaholicpsychic**

Jasper: **emojazzy9**

Emmett: **bigsofty77**

Rosalie: **blonde&beautiful333**

Jacob: **hotwolfdude2**

Minor Characters:

Esme: **islandowner8**

Carlisle: **hotdoc64**

Leah: **lonelygirrl4**

Sam: **alphawolf1**

Seth: **123456789**

Jessica: **xoxogossipgirl**

Angela: **bensgirl2**

**Masochisticlion1** has entered the chatroom.

**Shopaholicpsychic **has entered the chatroom.

**Bigsofty77** has entered the chatroom.

**Masochisticlion1: **Alice, I can hear ur thoughts from across the house and the answer is no.

**Shopaholicpsychic**: Aww, please??

**Masochisticlion1:** No no no!!

**Bigsofty77: **Hey dudes!! Wassup?

**Masochisticlion1: **Alice wants to play online truth or dare.

**Bigsofty77:** Yay! Let's play!!

**Masochisticlion1: **NO! Emmett, don't you remember what happened last time?

**Bigsofty77: **no. nods head vigorously

**Masochisticlion1**: ugh! Last time (and I _know_ that you remember because I can see it in your mind), YOU made Bella virtually jump into the virtual lake and she almost got virtual hypothermia and virtually DIED!!

**Bigsofty77:** well, I still don't see how that's MY fault. If U just turned her into a vampire like she wanted, she wouldn't have gotten so virtually cold!

**Shopaholicpsychic:** He's still going to change her, you know. I can still c it coming.

**Klutzygirrl56 **has entered the chatroom.

**Bigsofty77:** Hi Bella! Wanna play Truth or Dare? I promise I won't make you jump in the lake!

**Klutzygirrl56:** Pinky Promise?

**Bigsotfy77: **Pinky Promise. virtually shakes Bella's pinky

**Klutzygirrl56: **Oww Emmett- u butthole! U frickin virtually broke my pinky! U virtually 4got how strong you are!!virtually puts ice on pinky

**Bigsofty77:** Oops, sorry Bella. virtually gives Bella a (soft) hug

**Klutzygirrl56: **It's OK, I 4give u. But I still want Carlisle 2 look at my pinky virtually shouts for Carlisle

**Hotdoc64 **has entered the chatroom.

**Masochisticlion1**: Hmm, speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.

**Shopaholicpsychic:** well, I could have told you that Carlisle was gonna sign on!

**Masochisticlion1:** show-off

**Shopaholicpsychic:** know-it all

**Klutzygirrl56:** Carlisle, Emmett virtually broke my pinky in a pinky promise. Can you look at it?

**Masochisticlion1**: Carlisle, aren't u supposed 2 b **working** at the hospital?

**Hotdoc64**: Yea, but I'm on my lunch break, so a figured I would check up on u kids. So, Bella, what **exactly **virtually happened?

**Klutzygirrl56:** Well, we were going to play online Truth or Dare and Emmett had to Pinky Promise to me that he wouldn't make me jump into the virtual freezing cold lake again (I should add onto the promise, BTW, EMMETT!!) and he crushed my virtual pinky!

**Hotdoc64:** Emmett! How could you do such a thing??

**Bigsofty77:** Sorry, Dad, it was a virtual accident. I already apologized to Bella.

**Shopaholicpsychic:** It's Toooooooooo late tooooo apooooologiiiiiize! It's toooooo late, toooo late!! I 3333333 THAT SONG TIMES ON E MILLION!! yay One Republic!!

**Masochisticlion1:** shut the hell up Alice. Can't you see that Bella is in virtual pain right now??

**Shopaholicpsychic:** whatever, Eddy. Sorry, Bella.

**Klutzygirrl56:** S'okay Alice. I 4give u- ur like my sister!

**Shopaholicpsychic:** Awww! Pulls Bella into a lovey-dovey sisterly hug and kisses her cheeks

**Masochisticlion1:** Alice! Ur virtually squishing my girlfriend!! Let GO!

**Shopaholicpsychic:** sorry Bella! Let's go of Bella and apologized multiple times

**Klutzygirrl56:** Massages ribs and checks 4 broken bones It's ok Alice, no harm done intentionally; Carlisle, can you look at my pinky now??

**Hotdoc64:** inspects Bella's little finger yep, it's broken all right. Shame on u, Emmett scolds big ginormous son

**Bigsofty77:** hangs head and curls up in corner to mourn Bella's broken pinky and to reflect upon my bad actions (AKA "No-No's")

**Hotdoc64:** puts Bella's finger in a virtual splint

**Masochisticlion1: **kisses Bella's broken finger

**Klutzygirrl56:** ty Carlisle, ty Eddy

**Masochisticlion1:** Bella, love, I love you dearly, but please, do not, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER call me Eddy. EVER!

**Shopaholicpsychic:** I think she gets the point, Eddy.

**Masochisticlion1: **Alice!! That goes 4 u 2!

**Shopaholicpsychic:** whatever, can we get back 2 the game?

**Bigsofty77:** YAY!! Lezgo!

**Masochisticlion1:** Okay, I'll play. Let's c if Rose, Jazz, Esme, and all the others will play.

**Hotwolfdude2** has entered the chatroom.

**Lonelygrrl4 **has entered the chatroom.

**Emojazzy9** has entered the chatroom.

**Blonde&beautiful333 **has entered the chatroom.

**Islandowner8 **has entered the chatroom.

**Alphawolf1 **has entered the chatroom.

**123456789 **has entered the chatroom.

**Bigsofty77:** Let's get this party started!!

**Klutsygirrl56:** Wait Emmett! I wanted to get a few points straight- a nice long (gentle) Pinky Promise, okay. Here's the deal, Edward and I will play IF and only IF you agree to the following points:

You cannot dare me to jump into a virtual lake.

You cannot dare me to do something that would require vampiric abilities, like to jump off of a really high building (even virtually)

You CAN dare me to have virtual sex with Edward again (that was actually kind of fun)

You CAN dare Edward to turn me into a virtual vampire and THEN you can dare me to do things that would normally violate point #2

You cannot dare to do anything risqué (other than point #3), like make out with Alice

AM I UNDERSTOOD??

**Bigsofty77:** OK, ok, I get it, but r u sure about #6?

**Blonde&beautiful333:** oh my stupid, retarded husband- THERE WAS NO POINT #6!!

**Bigsofty77:** yes there were! Count them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6!!

**Blonde&beautiful333:** u moron, there's a FIVE (5) between 4 and 6!

**Bigsofty77:** o yeeeeeeaaaaahhhh…

**Blond&beautiful333:** no, duh? rolls perfect eyes

**Bigsofty77:** ok, so Bella, do u or do u not, hav a problema con la pregunta numero 5?

**Klutzygirrl56:** yes, Emmett, I do, so…Pinky Promise 2 all 5 points?

**Bigsofty77:** Pinky Promise shakes Bella's unbroken pinky

**Klutzygirrl56: **Goddammit Emmett! U broke my OTHER pinky!! U HAVE 2 write "shakes Bella's pinky GENTLY"

**Bigsofty77:** well, since u don't have any pinkies left…shakes Bella's little toes GENTLY

**Klutzygirrl56:** EMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT!! Don't u have a brain??

**Blonde&beautiful333:** No.

**Klutzygirrl56:** OMG- all the blood is going 3 my head Bcuz when you shook my little toe, u 4got to kneel down, so now you r holding me upside down by my little toe. OOWWWW!!

**Bigsofty77: **Gently turns a very pissed off Bella right side up and places her gently on the ground and does everything else that I'm supposed to write here so as not to get Bella 2 upset with me(oww, carpal tunnel much?)

**Klutzygirrl56:** ugh, I am so out of here B4 I sustain anymore injuries

**Shopaholicpsychic:** o Bella, at least there only virtual injuries, in about 300 seconds ur going to twist ur ankle while tripping over a chair getting up from ur computer.

**Klutzygirrl56: **thanks a lot Alice.

**Klutzygirrl56 **has signed off.

**Shopaholicpsychic: **but don't worry Bella! Edward's going to catch you before you hit the ground.- Eddy, run!

**Masochisticlion1** has signed off.

**Bigsofty77:** Well, damn! Bella and Eddikins are the most fun ppl to dare.

**Hotwolfdude2:** whatever, Bella's gone so I'm leaving. Leah? Seth? Sam?

**Hotwolfdude2** has signed off.

**Alphawolf1** has signed off.

**Lonelygirrl4** has signed off.

**123456789:** I'm still here!

**Shopaholicpsychic:** Hey Seth, why is **123456789** ur screenname?

**123456789:** Well, Alice, it's actually a funny story. U c, uh, um, er, well, actually, I just couldn't think of anything else.

**Shopaholicpsychic:** well, if u can think of one now, you should just change it.

**123456789:** I would, except 4 2 reasons: one, I still can't think of a better one, and two, I got too emotionally attached to it! Plus, if I don't type it everyday to sign on, I might 4get how to count. Well, 

I'm leaving, Leah's home and I'm probably not going to be able to type with her bitching in my ear. Byes. blows kisses at every1 Mwah!

**123456789 **has signed off.

**Blonde&beautiful333: **wow, I think he may be more emo than Jazz

**Emojazzy9:** ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME? NO ONE IS MORE EMO THAN ME!! BESIDES, EMOS HAVE COOKIES ON THE DARK SIDE MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! eats cookies and then spits it out, 4getting that vampires don't eat cookies

**Shopaholicpsychic:** umm, Jazz? Rosalie was being sarcastic. Seth is the opposite of emo: he has HCD

**Emojazzy9:** peeks out from under his dark rock what's that?

**Shopaholicpsychic:** Hyperactive Cheerfulness Disorder

**Emojazzy9: **o, OK, I feel calm now.

**Shopaholicpsychic: **well, then let's go upstairs and excite u up again

**Emojazzy9:** screw being emo claps hands and runs upstairs

**Emojazzy9** has signed off.

**Shopaholicpsychic:** there r other things 2 screw besides being emo

**Shopaholicpsychic** has signed off.

**Blonde&beautiful333:** hey em, wanna go join jazz and alice upstairs?? raises perfect eyebrows

**Bigsofty77:** no thanks Rosie, I'm not in the mood

**Blonde&beautiful333:** NOT IN THE MOOD?? R U REJECTING ME?? OMG!!

**Bigsofty77:** I'd just rather play Truth or Dare!

**Blonde&beautiful333:** flips hair and gasps WELL! We'll see who's in the mood and who's not TONIGHT when I WON"T B IN THE MOOD!!screams and rips out perfect hair in shock at Emmett rejecting my perfectness

**Blonde&beautiful333** has signed off.

**Bigsofty77: **Oh baby don't be like that!

**Bigsofty77: **ugh, oh well, we don't need her to play Truth or Dare, right guys??

**Bigsofty77: **guys?

**Bigsofty77: **GUYS??

**Bigsofty77: **Oh shitty fuck, no one's here. bawls and sobs

**Bigsofty77: **I'm ALL ALONE!!

**Bigsofty77** has signed off.

**Hotdoc64:** Hey guys! Looks like I forgot to sign off when I went back to work, but now I'm on break again. What did I miss?

**Hotdoc64:** scrolls up and reads conversation Oh darn, no one's on.

**Hotdoc64** has signed off.

PLEASE REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!! ALSO, PLEASE GIVE ME IEDAS FOR MY NEXT UPDATE!! ALSO, IF I GET 10 REVIEWS, THEN I WILL WRITE A SUPER LONG AND DETAILED PARAGRAPH DESCRIBING WHY I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR SAID 10 REVIEWERS!! HOWEVER, **IF I GET LESS THAN 10 REVIEWS THEN I WILL THROW SAID NON-REVIEWERS OUT OF A FIFTH STORY WINDOW IN TIMBUKTU, MALI!!** LOVE YOU'S! BYE'S! MWAH!

-OCDtwilighter XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO


	2. Esme and Carlisle NOT THAT OLD!

**Okay, people, I got ONE REVIEW. And that is not enough of an incentive to make me continue writing! Let's try for at least…7 this time, okay? I would like to thank **EclipseoftheTwilightMoon** for being my sole reviewer on Chapter 1. Remember, reviews make me happy and happy writer write a lot. Speaking of unhappy writers, who else here is so sad about MS being on hold?? Anyway, on with the AIM!**

Main Characters:

Edward: **masochisticlion1**

Bella: **klutzygirrl56**

Alice: **shopaholicpsychic**

Jasper: **emojazzy9**

Emmett: **bigsofty77**

Rosalie: **blonde&beautiful333**

Jacob: **hotwolfdude2**

Minor Characters:

Esme: **islandowner8**

Carlisle: **hotdoc64**

Leah: **lonelygirrl4**

Sam: **alphawolf1**

Seth: **123456789**

Jessica: **xoxogossipgirl**

Angela: **bensgirl2**

Lauren:** reginageorge2**

**Islandowner8 **has signed on.

**Hotdoc64 **has signed on.

**Hotdoc64:** Hey Esme, baby!

**Islandowner8:** Hi shnookums!

**Hotdoc64: **Guess what, baby?

**Islandowner8:** What? (giggles)

**Hotdoc64:** I get off of work early today, at 6. Get what I'm sayin? ;-)

**Islandowner8:** Hmm, I believe I do mister doctor of hotness. Were those big, bad, mean nurses all over you today?

**Islandowner8:** Hunny?

**Islandowner8:** sweetheart?

**Islandowner8:** Carlisle, baby! Answer the question, dammit!

**Hotdoc64:** umm, no?

**Islandowner8:** you liar! Hmph! You can stay at work for all I care, because you're gonna be bored when you get home, anyway!

**Hotdoc64: **Baby, you, know Esme, when you're angry, even over IM, it's a real turn on. My little doctor thinks so too.

**Islandowner8:** Really? Well, in that case, come home now…;-)

**Hotdoc64: **or, we could just do it over IM…

**Islandowner8:** hmm, sounds hot (puts finger in mouth)

**Hotdoc64: ** (moans) (takes off pants)

**Bigsofty77** has stopped being invisible.

**Bigsofty77:** Mommy! Daddy! I did NOT need to virtually see that!! Put your pants back on, Daddy! Mommy- GET YOUR FUCKING FINGER OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!

**Islandowner8:** umm, Emmett, it's not nice to spy on people in invisibility mode

**Hotdoc64: ** yes, son, you know what they say about eavesdroppers

**Bigsofty77:** they also say many things about people who have virtual sex

**Masochisticlion1** has stopped being invisible.

**Masochisticlion1:** Oh please, Emmett, you and Rose do it all the time, I CAN C IT IN UR HEAD!!

**Bigsofty77:** well, that's different!

**Islandowner8:** how so, em?

**Bigsofty77:** for two reasons: first, Rose and I only do it when we're far away from each other, like when one of us is out hunting and we miss each other. Also, we're younger, so it's OK, but it's so not okay for OLD PEOPLE!!

**Hotdoc64:** well, first, you guys did it when you were walking next to each other at the mall yesterday. And two, Esme is basically the same age as Rose! They're really only a few years apart.

**Bigsofty77** has signed off.

**Hotdoc64:** Edward, go away.

**Masochisticlion1** has signed off.

**Hotdoc64:** now where were we? (kisses Esme passionately and pushes her onto a virtual bed)…


	3. Emmett wants some GIRL TALK

**Okay- no reviews for the last chapter yet, buuuut, that is because of my amazing abilities to produce TWO CHAPTERFS IN ONE DAY!! Yeah! Woot woot! Okay, well, the last one wasn't as long as I had promised, so I thought that I owed you guys this one. I had this idea for Emmett (you'll c what I mean) while I was writing the last chapter, but it didn't really work with the last chapter's "theme" ;-). Anyways, here goes. Also, the reason that I haven't updated in a while is because, well, school started and in high school, you get A LOT of homework. At least, at my school you do…**

Main Characters:

Edward: **masochisticlion1**

Bella: **klutzygirrl56**

Alice: **shopaholicpsychic**

Jasper: **emojazzy9**

Emmett: **bigsofty77**

Rosalie: **blonde&beautiful333**

Jacob: **hotwolfdude2**

Minor Characters:

Esme: **islandowner8**

Carlisle: **hotdoc64**

Leah: **lonelygirrl4**

Sam: **alphawolf1**

Seth: **123456789**

Jessica: **xoxogossipgirl**

Angela: **bensgirl2**

**Bigsofty77** has entered the chatroom.

**Blonde&beautiful333** has entered the chatroom.

**Shopaholicpsychic** has entered the chatroom.

**Klutzygirrl56** has entered the chatroom.

**Xoxogossipgirl **has entered the chatroom.

**Bensgirl2** has entered the chatroom.

**Bigsofty77:** Hey girlfriends! What's up girlies! I think we all need to get caught up on the latest girl talk and gossip! Come on girlfriends!

**Klutzygirrl56:** Em, u DO no that ur not a grl, rite?

**Blonde&beautiful333:** girlfriends? girlfriends? As in PLURAL!! (rips hair out…and then apologizes to perfect hair) EMMETT!!

**Bigsofty77: **To bella- I just want to get in touch with my feminine side (Hmph!) and, if you can't accept that (sniffles), then…sobs…then…sobs…then…where was I again? Oh yea, and Rose- baby, I was just saying girlfriends like friends who are girls, u know that ur my one and only. Ur my wife!

**Xoxogossipgirl:** u guys r MARRIED!! OMG- I didn't no that! (claps hands) Yay, the smell of new gossip!

**Bigsofty77:** which brings us back to my GIRL TALK idea!! :-D Come, on guys. I mean girls, let's talk about our feelings. Bella, you go first. How r u and Eddy doin?

**Klutzygirrl56:** OK, well, at first me and Edward were all like...what's the word…like potato steak fetish-y, but now we're all like balloon shaped sticker on a pot holder-y. However, in the middle, we _were_ doing a little pillow case meets world-y.

**Xoxogossipgirl:** huh?

**Shopaholicpsychic:** what the fuck, Bella?

**Blonde&beautiful333:** I don't get it (but I'm still beautiful)

**Bensgirl2:** Bella, what are you talking about?

**Bogsofty77:** OMG- I SOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo get what you're talking about! Of course, me and Rose just clicked and were all onion rings and alarm clocks right away, with only a few spots of wal-mart calculator time, but I can still see what you're talking about.

**Klutzygirrl56:** Aww, Emmett, come 'ere! I love that u understand me! (hugs Emmett)

**Shopaholicpsychic: **really? Usually **I'm** the understanding one- and I'm totally lost

**Bigsofty77: **yay- bella- let's have some binding time! Okay, so, how's Edward at frying fish on the couch?

**Klutzygirrl56: **OMG- he's so funky lava lamp! I thought that it was gonna hurt, but we fit together like peanut butter and-

**Bensgirl2:** jelly?

**Klutzygirrl56:** no, angela, since when do PB & J go together? I was going to say peanut butter and mozzarella sticks! Anyway, Emmett, we've been frying fish like hobbits and hobos!

**Bensgirl2:** PB&MS?

**Klutzygirrl56: **no, the acronym is PMS, anyways…em?

**Bigsofty77:** It sound grea…BORING! Come one, girlfriend, give me the deets, the 411 on Eddy boy! Man he thought he was upside down and the other way around until you came along. So, how's his lederhosen?

**Klutzygirrl56:** Mmmm. It tastes like cucumbers in a belly button. And it's as longs as a cellular hairclip and as wide as an underwater notebook. But hey, it feels so cherry! I can adjust to his lederhosen if you catch ma drift…;-)

**Bigsofty77:** Amen to that, sistah! I didn't know Eddy had it in 'im!

**Shopaholicpsychic:** can u guys talk like normal ppl so that the rest of us can understand u??

**Bigsofty77:** how can u not understand PLAIN ENGLISH. I mean even I understand!!

**Xoxogossipgirl:** ugh, I am so out of here.

**Xoxogossipgirl** has signed off.

**Blonde&beautiful333: ** me 2. U coming em? ;-) I can make u real happy…

**Bigsofty77: **Rosalie! Can't u c that me and bella are having a special moment here?

**Blonde&beautiful333:** Ur picking HER over ME! Ugh- 2nite, u get NOTHING!

**Blonde&beautiful333** has signed off.

**Bensgirl2:** Um, Bella, do u mind if I leave? Cuz, I don't really get u 2 anyway.

**Klutzygirrl56:** Aww, but Angie- I thought that we were having some real girl time!

**Bensgirl2:** ummm, not really it was more u and em having some "girl" time. So, bye

**Bensgirl2** has signed off.

**Shopaholicpsychic:** I still don't get you two. So, I give up.

**Shopaholicpsychic** has signed off.

**Klutzygirrl56: **Emmett, our plan worked! We confused them into signing off! That was fun!

**Bigsofty77: ** Bella, I have no idea what ur talking about, I understood everything u said and had no notion of this plan. I thought we really were having some girl time (gets emotional)

**Klutzygirrl56:** ? ue so weird, em.

**Klutzygirrl56** has signed off.

**Bigsofty77:** OMG- my plan worked! I even got Bella!


	4. AN

**A/N Hey guys- u may have noticed that I had to change the rating from T to M because of all those…comments in the last three chapters. Also, there may be some (virtual) lemons in the future for some convos, maybe with E&B, maybe Em&R, maybe A&J, maybe An&Ben, maybe J&Mi, or maybe even Es&C!! Anyways…R&R ASAP!! I need reviews. They are my meth.**


	5. VERY IMPORTANT AN MUST READ!

**VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE- Ok, I've got a bunch of new ideas for Emmett's personality in the next chapter, so I'm going to put a poll on my profile and you guys have got to vote. So, what do you want next:**

**Gangster Emmett**

**Mafia Emmett**

**Asian Emmett**

**Pirate Emmett**

**Sleepy Emmett**

**OR**

**Accountant Emmett**

**You guys HAVE to vote or I will not know what to write about!**


	6. READ THIS NOW

**Okay, you guys are probably getting REALLY sick of all of my long, boring author's notes, and so I promise that this might possibly be the last one. However, if you guys do not VOTE on my EMMETT poll, then I will be very angry and write ten chapters of author's notes. Okay, so let's try for ten reviews, okay? I've already got three or four, so it's really not that many. Also, I can't write another chapter if you don't VOTE because (gasp) it is a TIE right now! If you don't vote and break the tie, how will I EVER write again! Also, some of you have been asking about, on the poll, what happened to Asian Emmett? Well, what happened was that for Asian Emmett, there are A LOT of countries in Asia, so I'll have to be more specific next time. **

**So, REVIEW, and VOTE, and also, I am looking for a BETA, so if anyone is interested, please contact me!**

**Oh, and if you guys review and vote, then I will write five pages for the next chapter, which will be the longest yet, okay?**


	7. Sheep, Tube Socks, and French Men

**Okay people, I did NOT get ten reviews, but I did get enough votes to break the tie and continue with the story. However, since I didn't get as many reviews as I wanted, this chapter will NOT be five pages long. Also, I NEEEEEEEED reviews for the next chapter. I lied when I said that reviews were my meth, because Twilight is my meth. But, if Twilight is my meth, then reviews are my cocaine/heroin. Not a very good example, though, because I know that you all care so much about me that you wouldn't want me to be in drugs, right? Anyway, on with the story. You'll figure out which Emmett it is.**

Main Characters:

Edward: **masochisticlion1**

Bella: **klutzygirrl56**

Alice: **shopaholicpsychic**

Jasper: **emojazzy9**

Emmett: **bigsofty77**

Rosalie: **blonde&beautiful333**

Jacob: **hotwolfdude2**

Minor Characters:

Esme: **islandowner8**

Carlisle: **hotdoc64**

Leah: **lonelygirrl4**

Sam: **alphawolf1**

Seth: **123456789**

Jessica: **xoxogossipgirl**

Angela: **bensgirl2**

Lauren:** reginageorge2**

**Masochisticlion1** has entered the chatroom.

**Klutzygirrl56** has entered the chatroom.

**Shopaholicpsychic** has entered the chatroom.

**Bigsofty77** has entered the chatroom.

**Bigsofty77: ** I'm TIRED!!

**Masochisticlion1:** Emmett, you can't get tired, you're a vampire

**Bigsofty77: ** But I am! And that's what bothers me- I CANT SLEEP!

**Klutzygirrl56:** try counting sheep

**Bigsofty77:** I CANT! Sheep scare the crap out of me.

**Klutzygirrl56:** But, em, ur a big, strong, super-powerful VAMPIRE! What can a sheep do to you?

**Klutzygirrl56: **Hmm, I always wondered about the word "sheep" I mean, sheep sounds so plural, but yet it' s singular at the same time, like fish, but when a sheep is a baby, one is called a lamb, and many are lambs, so why isn't it sheeps!? Life's questions…

**Bigsofty77:** Bella? Get back to ME and my sleeping problems. Anyway, sheep scare me so much because when they have all of their wool, their so unnaturally fluffy, it's not right!

**Klutzygirrl56:** speaking of unnatural…

**Masochisticlion1:** Hey!

**Bigsofty77:** and when they DON'T have their wool, they look like naked rats and it's creepy, so that's why counting sheep would not help me fall asleep

**Klutzygirrl56:** have you tried using a sound machine?

**Bigsofty77:** NO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Masochisticlion1:** are you scared of them too?

**Bigsofty77:** yes, because they are FRIGHTENING! How do some people call those noises soothing? Usually there are three kinds of sound tracks: ocean, rainforest, or French Riviera. The ocean has big fish that can eat me (and don't pull that "I'm a vampire" shit because it can still eat me!), the rainforest has big snakes that can eat whole buffalos in one bite that could also eat me, and French rivieras have weird French waiters with funny mustaches and accents, who could creep me out to death.

**Masochisticlion1:** this is NOT about your inability to be eaten because of your supernatural strength, but you CAN'T DIE, so the French thing wouldn't work, although they DO have weird mustaches and accents. Also, they eat snails.

**Klutzygirrl56: ** have you tried wearing tube socks to bed? Oh no, wait, what if they come to life and eat your legs!? (rolls eyes)

**Bigsofty77:** actually, the idea hadn't come to me until to mentioned it, so now, no socks

**Shopaholicpsychic:** nice going, Bella

**Klutzygirrl56:** Alice! I forgot that u were even in here! Y didn't u say anything?

**Shopaholicpsychic:** I prefer to just watch the convos until an opportunity comes up.

**Klutzygirrl56:** oh, well, back to em, have you tried drinking?

**Bigsofty77:** what, like putting myself into a food coma? Ow.

**Klutzygirrl56:** no. alcochol. It's a depressant, and _should_ depress your system enough to fall asleep. Either that or you'll pass out, but hey, either way

**Bigsofty77:** but what if…

**Klutzygirrl56: ** no, em, c, if ur drunk, then you won't b scared of anything!

**Bigsofty77:** okay then, I'll try it

**Masochisticlion1:** good idea, Bella, but what if his system won't take it?

**Shopaholicpsychic**: actually, he's going to puke…now

**Klutzygirrl56:** OH SHITTY FUCK!

**Masochisticlion1:** u no, ur kind of hot when u get all dirty-mouthed

**Klutzygirrl56:** really? ;-)

**Masochisticlion1** is purring…?

**Klutzygirrl56: **ed, can we get back to that later, Emmett is important rite now. Em r u ok?

**Klutzygirrl56: **em?

**Shopaholicpsychic:** he threw up on his laptop, so it broke. Now he's going to sign on to a different one.

**Bigsofty77:** I'm back, and still tired but still can't sleep.

**Shopaholicpsychic:** I could try to hypnotize u.

**Bigsofty77: **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO SUCKING PIXIE IS GETTING NEAR ME!!#&!!#&!! U HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!! I'M NOT LETTING ALICE ANYWHERE NEAR MY MIND!! SHE IS A CRAZY MIDGET PERSON!! &#(&!)&#&(!)!&#&#(#)&#()#+&#(#6&2!&!(&#!#&()(&#!! SHE IS AN EVEIL LITTLE GIRL!!

**Klutzzygirrl56:** Umm, alice, no offence, but I can understand his aversion to you hypnotizing him

**Shopaholicpsychic:** hmph!

**Shopaholicpsychic** has signed off.

**Bigsofty77:** hmm, being almost scared to death really woke me up! Now I don't have to sleep!

**Klutzygirrl56:** great, then, Edward, do you want to finish what we were starting while Emmett was puking?

**Masochisticlion1:** hmm, that sounds like an excellent idea.

**Masochisticlion1** has signed off.

**Klutzygirrl56** has signed off.

**Bigsofty77:** shit, now I'm awake and all alone.

**Blonde&Beautiful333:** hey baby, do u want 2 go and do what Edward and Bella are doing?

**Bigsofty77:** what r they doing?

**Blonde&beautiful333:** they're discussing the national debt- what do u THINK they're doing?! They're fucking.

**Bigsofty77:** oh.

**Bigsofty77:** nah, I'm too tired from being tired all day.

**Blonde&beautiful333:** !#&#((#)#& !! HOW DARE YOU TURN ME DOWN?? when u AREN'T tired, U GET NOTHING! HAVE FUN WITH JACK!

**Blonde&beautiful333** has signed off.

**Bigsofty77:** aww, rosie baby, don't b like that. When I jack off, I always hurt myself! Please, rosie!

**Shopaholicpsychic** has stopped being invisible.

**Shopaholicpsychic: **don't worry em, she'll give in.

**Shopaholicpsychic** has signed off.

**Bigsofty77 **has signed off.


	8. SAMC and Seth

**Yay! I got some reviews. However, I still want more! How did you guys like Sleepy Emmett? Yay exhausted vampires! I am finding lots of things to be happy about today because my school's football won today and so no longer totally sucks!! YAY! And I was at the game- playing in the band! Yay BAND GEEKS!! Okay, I got a request from **_**Rebeca**_**, who wants me to put Seth back in the story in this chapter, so here he is. Yay Seth! Also, sorry that it took so long to update just school has been so crazy! ALSO, I am thinking about putting a lemon in, so PLEASE review and tell me if you would like me to. Anyways, this is a long author's note, so ON WITH THE AIM!!**

Main Characters:

Edward: **masochisticlion1**

Bella: **klutzygirrl56**

Alice: **shopaholicpsychic**

Jasper: **emojazzy9**

Emmett: **bigsofty77**

Rosalie: **blonde&beautiful333**

Jacob: **hotwolfdude2**

Minor Characters:

Esme: **islandowner8**

Carlisle: **hotdoc64**

Leah: **lonelygirrl4**

Sam: **alphawolf1**

Seth: **123456789**

Jessica: **xoxogossipgirl**

Angela: **bensgirl2**

Lauren:** reginageorge2**

**Masochisticlion1** has entered the chatroom.

**Bigsofty77** has entered the chatroom.

**Emojazzy9** has entered the chatroom.

**Hotdoc64** has entered the chatroom.

**Hotdoc64:** the Secret Association of Male Cullens (SAMC) has ASSEMBLED! WHO are WE?

**Bigsofty77:** SAMC!

**Emojazzy9:** SAMC!

**Masochisticlion1:** SAMC!

**Hotdoc64:** and what do we stand for?

**Bigsofyt77:** Manly Crap 'an Shit!

**Emojazzy9:** Stuff that Women don't give a shit about!

**Masochisticlion1:** An allegiance of men against female crap!

**Hotdoc64: **we really need to work on synchronizing that second one

**Masochisticlion1:** ur rite about that, anyway, as vice president of the SAMC, I would like 2 present our first order of business: Alice

**Emojazzy9:** wuts rong with alice?

**Hotdoc64:** well, you all may or may not have noticed, but…my office has recently undergone some drastic renovations, courtesy of Alice. In other words, MY OFFICE HAS BEEN GIRL-I-FIED!!

**Masochisticlion1:** will the complaining persons please provide examples of the crime as well as evidence proving that the suspect is guilty

**Hotdoc64:** well, my chair is pink leather and has a froofy- pouffy thingy on it, my curtains are now also a matching shade of pink, and adorned with decorative beads and lacy things. Also, my mahogany desk is gone, and instead I have a glass table with white around it and spirally legs that are an inconvenience to my sitting position. I have pink shag carpeting, and instead of pictures of the Volturi and others of my past, there are photographs of puppies and bunnies wearing bonnets. The walls are also a pale shade of pink

**Bigsofty77:** Awww, cute puppies and bunnies in bonnets!

**Emojazzy9:** ha! U just proved that alice did not do it! She would NEVER put in shag carpeting!

**Masochisticlion1:** hold on jazz, we're gonna do this like a real court case. First, Carlisle can present evidence against Alice, then you and her and others and make statements with alibis and that junk, then the neutral ppl will make a decision, like a jury. They will be me, esme, rose, bella, and Emmett…well, maybe we'd better leave Emmett out as he can be easily distracted…

**Bigsofty77:** Hey! I can so stay on task

**Masochisticlion1:** wut was the last word I typed?

**Bigsofty77:** ummm…

**Emojazzy9:** hint: scroll up on ur screen!

**123456789** has stopped being invisible.

**123456789:** guys! Just skip the trial! Have jasper tell her to stop, have Edward keep reading her mind 4 future plans, and Carlisle, lock your office with something that will keep vampires out

**Masochisticlion1:** wow, seth, that was actually smart

**123456789:** oops, sry guys, leah was just on my account, wut was that?

**Masochisticlion1:** o, nvm

**123456789:** okey dokers! :-D!! I LIKES PI!

**Bigsofty77:** apple, boysenberry, cherry, lemon meringue, chocolate cream, banana cream, strawberry rhubarb, pumpkin! Ick. Vampires no likey el pie.

**123456789:** not pie, pi: 3.14159265357989323… that's as far as I hav memorized (my friend kate has memorized the first 87 digits of pi, and my other friend Kevin has memorized where the pi button is on his calculator!)

**Hotdoc64:** y do u like pi?

**123456789:** …I don't know…huh, maybe I don't like pi. Leah, wut do I like?

**Lonelygirrl4** has stopped being invisible

**Lonelygirrl4:** u like me, getting things for me when I ask 4 them, buying me nice things spontaneously, leaving when I ask u 2, and anything else that I request of you. Also, you like wearing CLOTHES!! I know that even jake wears PANTS!! Cover up cuz I DON'T need 2 c that!!

**123456789:** okey dokers!

**Masochisticlion1:** seth, y do u listen 2 leah?

**123456789:** I don't, she's just being nice enough to tell me more about me ever since I hit my head and got amnesia

**Masochisticlion1:** hey LEAH, how did seth hit his head?

**Lonelygirrl4:** well, we were cliff diving with the gang and seth ACCIDENTALLY jumped off of the wrong part of the cliff and fell to a ledge about twenty feet below…

**Masochisticlion1:** I c… well, I gotta go. Charlie just thought that he was going to surprise bella by taking her clothing shopping and buying her tons of cut little ruffly dresses. As much as I would ENJOY seeing her in them, I still think I should save her. BYE!!

**Masochisticlion1** has signed off.

**Hotdoc64:** esme is calling, so if the house is a'collapsin, don't come a'knockin (it just doesn't sound goo all vampire-fied!)

**Hotdoc64** has signed off.

**Emojazzy9:** hmm, I can feel the lust rolling off of Alice…and Emmett…

**Emojazzy9 **has signed off.

**Bigsofty77:** jazz is rite, I'm gonna go find rose 2 go take an unnessesary shower

**Bigsofty77** has signed off.

**Lonelygirrl4** has signed off.

**123456789:** woah! I just got my memory back! LEAH U R SO DEAD!!


End file.
